Friday Ramble 25/08/2006

Good afternoon party people.

This week in the news: Hobbo isn’t gay. Ha ha. April Fools! In August.
Knaps and I had a bet over the outcome of the Soccer World Cup Final. The dirty Waps won it for me. So…as much as he has been trying to avoid it, this weekend Knaps will be executing a little procedure called “washing The Tank in his tightey whiteys”. Video goes on sale Monday.


Chip: hi buggggger!
me: hey boyo
how's it going?
Chip: hey hey hey!
good bud, how's joeys life?
me: chilling
Chip: what's news in ur life?
me: killing
Chip: cool - u at work?
me: ya
not much happening
life, love and everything in between
Chip: haha, ur in love?
me: absolutely
like a little puppy
Chip: thats so so cute
so no more orgasm consultants for u?
me: what are you talking about?
that's what being in love is all about isn't?
Chip: good boy
i like that!
me: speak into the meat microphone girly
Chip: haha
on ur knees and smile like a donut
me: that still cracks me up
think i'm going to use that tonight
Chip: please do
me: see how far she can kick my testicles
Chip: u think?
i'm gonna try it at work tomorrow with my lesbian teammate
i reckon she'll kick them further
me: how much does the dyke benchpress?
Chip: not much
she's actually hot
her gf is like olo brown
me: ha ha
dude
get a photo for the ramble
Chip: haha, ok
me: i will post about chip's lesbian colleague in all her glory
Chip: haha
that;s funny
i dig it when we have earthquake drills
cos she has to bend down with me under the desk
guess who's going to see dave matthews?
me: hate
where?
when?
Chip: sacramento
sept 6
outdoors - it's going to be nuts
me: that is so unbelievably awesome it's ridiculous
take a joint with you
Chip: i am so so excited
me: maybe two
Chip: haha!
scared of the cops here
but maybe
me: dude
you are white
they mean you no harm
Chip: haha
that's truw
a lot of girls tell me i look like him
me: who?
stalin?
Chip: dave
fuck u!
me: hahaha
communist pig
Chip: dave matthews is almost bald
haha
i heard wasim akram compare darrell hair to adolf hitler
me: hahaha
Chip: that was very funny
i loved it
it's quite apt
went to this cool place called the haight ashbury
it's the birthplace of hippiedom

I went out for drinks last night and was presented with a shot of cane. And because old junior over here has never done a shot before, I gagged and a little bit came out of my nose. Holymotherofgod. I think it burnt out my nasal cavities completely. I had to leave the place we were and go home. My nose has been leaking various mucuses and bloody liquids miscellaneous ever since. I have yet to regain any semblance of a sense of smell. I really am a useless tool.

1 UP ON U - ZN. That is the registration I saw today. On a golf 4. Whatever you say buddy. You may be vain and classless but fortunately for your sake you are also too ignorant to realize it.

I have a small favour to ask. I have a friend. Her license plate reads KENDZ – ZN but we won’t hold that against her. Her dad was the editor of the now defunct Scope magazine that brings back so many fond memories of 12 year old fireman time. We call him the Godfather. She looks like this:





She has entered some competition that makes fantasies come true. I would like your help to make her win. Go to http://www.brutalfruit.com/ and vote for the Carribean Cruise titled fantasy by Kendz. You have to register which is a little bit of admin but you will make Kendz very happy if she wins. And if she is happy, the Godfather is happy. And if the Godfather is happy, we are all happy.

Come on. Do it for the kids.

Ok. That’s me for the day.
Love, kisses and root vegetables.
Jamo.