Friday Ramble 28/10/2005

Ah, sometimes I grow so tired,
But I know I’ve got one thing I got to do…

Once upon a time there were a gravel. When the gravel were young, he was taken from his happy home with his parents, mixed with some bitumen and put to work as a road. As time went by and many, many cars drived over him and he began to come loose in the bitumen, until one day – he comed loose altogether. Then, as more cars over him drove, little bits of oil and bacteria began to collect on him, then one day our little gravel evolved. He learned to walk and talk, but he still did not have that critical organ that would make him human – a brain. So he got a job at Black Top as the King Prawn’s superior.

And now’s the time,
the time is now
To sing my song…

Has anyone noticed the sudden revival of Roxette? I hadn’t heard them with any regularity for the better part of a decade[1], and now it seems like they are everywhere again. Actually, I think their songwriting is pretty good and some modern rock bands would do well to do some Roxette covers minus the synthesizers and crap. Let’s face it; we were born into the worst decade culture has ever seen.

On a happier note – the other revival I have noticed is the Red Hot Chili Peppers’ Californication. That is an awesome album that was brutally beaten to death with a blunt object by the popular media. I’m glad that enough time has passed now for me to enjoy it again. I’m sure that is an album that we will be putting on in thirty years time at the Sunday braai and we will reminisce and our kids will go, “hey, that’s pretty cool[2], who is that?”

Ain’t nothing I can do, no…

On another yet another musical note, please join with me in saying no to Mariah Carey. Go to http://www.idontcareyouscreechysentimentalisticshallowharpie.org to register your vote. Emancipation is a big word – for a whore. And I don’t mean whore as in the affectionate “all women are whores, except our mothers”; I mean whore as in “5 dollar, I love you long time”.

I ain’t tellin’ no lie…

Traffic report as usual: saw a lady in traffic eating with chopsticks; no shit. Also saw a guy who had somehow managed to mis-wire his trailer so that when he indicated right, it indicated left.

Karel, your old man came to watch the Currie Cup final at ours; it was a good case study of the South African male in its natural habitat. Apparently your mom has gone completely mad and is running the New York marathon. The thought of it is giving me a stitch. The Furniture Guy told me you were ‘very disappointed’ in me. The good news is that this weekend I come off the wagon, and I plan to hit the ground running.

Commie Bastard, heard there are plans for you to be in Amanzamtoti with us. What a damn pleasure.

Rumbone, I believe you have been failing in your forwarding duties to Kent. Please organize yourself.

T’was in the darkest depths of mordor
I met a girl so fair,

Kate Beckinsale, will you marry me? Oh. I think you misheard me, I said you look fat in those pants.

But gollum, and the evil one crept up
And slipped away with her…

Has anyone seen the latest You magazine? Just caught the caption for the cover story: “Brian [Habana] and [insert beautiful blonde’s name here]: our pledge, no sex before we are married”. Ha. Hahaha. Hahahahahaha. My girl, he is a Springbok rugby player; he might not have slept with you before your wedding night, but don’t be too surprised when he seems to know the Karma Sutra better than the Bible.

Leaves are falling all around,
It’s time I was on my way.
Thanks to you, I’m much obliged
For such a pleasant stay…

If anyone feels like sending me the story of their lives, please do so. The purpose of the ramble, apart from being witty and thought-provoking in the extreme, is to illicit response from you, the humble reader. Don’t be afraid because I use big words like emancipation. Seriously, say word up sometime. The only people I hear from are those who work the 8 hour days.

The time has come to be gone.
And tho’ our health we drank a thousand times,
It’s time to ramble on…

Happy Halloween, my children of the night. Sounds better in german: frohe Halloween kinder van der nacht. Thanks to that band for their song.

A-keep-a ramblin’ baby...

[1] On the radio at least; my dear sweet sister went through a massive Roxette phase that lasted a lot longer than it should’ve.
[2] Except ‘cool’ will probably be so passé and they will say ‘rad’ or ‘hip’ or ‘coke-a-licious’.